ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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