my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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