Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
