did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
