Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Less talking, more tequila
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
