So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
