were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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