I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
