I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Small penises have feelings too.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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