After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
