there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
