In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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