His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
