so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
