I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
How many fucks given?
0.12846
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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