Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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