Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
