ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
