did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
