my mouth tastes like poor choices
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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