Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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