yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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