Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
