thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Say something about gay babies.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
