Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
