is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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