keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
