So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
