My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
