I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I am one with the molecules
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
