i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
