I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
