He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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