I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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