I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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