Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I hate all girls vehemently.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
