i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Princesses don't give blow jobs
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
