My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
