I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
