a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
well most of my day revolves around power hour
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
