All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I cut my penus on the lid.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
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