Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
