I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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