Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
