she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
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