Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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