Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
