Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
