you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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