One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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