Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
