Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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