bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You work out of a Hotel?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
