I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
