She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize