dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
