Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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