i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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